Make Eye Contact When Speaking

Posted on Jun 15, 2011 in Personal Development | 0 comments

Making eye contact with the person you are speaking to, or the person you are approaching, significantly affects how they perceive you. Eye contact communicates confidence and assertiveness. More often than not, you can tell a person’s confidence level relative to your own by seeing if their eyes meet your own when you are speaking to them.

In my younger years, I had a huge problem making eye contact with people. I was too shy to look anybody in the eye. The moment my eyes connected with any female I had some interest in, I would get shivers!

Eye contact is advantageous in many situations, such as getting a bartender’s attention in a busy club, getting picked first out of a group selection, and acquiring more attention from a speaker out of a group of listeners. Subtleties in the way eye contact is used can be very powerful in conveying a message.

Intensity in the eyes can make a serious and important message much more memorable and impactful. A cute smile with seductive eye contact can elicit emotion from the opposite sex. Being able to master this skill will allow you to captivate and maintain your audience. If you don’t make eye contact, you will convey low self esteem, nervousness and uncertainty.

Exercise: Be conscious of where you are looking when you speak to someone. Are you looking around? Are you fidgeting with things while speaking? If you are shy and have trouble looking at your listener when you speak, try glancing at the bridge of your listener’s nose every once in awhile when you are talking to them.

A good rhythm is to look at your listener when you begin to speak and again when you finish your sentence. Finish every sentence while looking at your listener. It should be done smoothly and not abruptly otherwise it will seem unnatural. You shouldn’t always look someone in the eye for the entire conversation. Finding the right balance between the two is what you should aim for.

If making eye contact at a close distance is intimidating, then start by making eye contact with people at a further distance. With practice you will be more comfortable it will come natural to you, and before you know it, you will be conversing with people with more confidence.

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Talk Slowly and Clearly

Posted on Jun 15, 2011 in Personal Development | 0 comments

I used to be very uncomfortable with speaking in public and hearing my own voice. I also tend to speak quickly and stutter when I am nervous. Over the years when I became heavily involved in the performing arts and worked in the film industry, I slowly gained more confidence and improved my speech delivery. One easy way to improve your speech mechanics is to simply speak slower and more clearly. Take the time to fully form the words in your speech and not slur and run words together.

This sounds a lot easier than in actual practice. By naturally slowing down your speech when you speak, the effectiveness, retention, and audience interest of the message you are delivering will be greater. It has been scientifically proven, that those who speak slower appear to sound smarter. Of course if you speak unnecessarily slow then you will come off as lacking confidence. Speaking too quickly usually gives off the impression that you are nervous. Speaking too quickly is a problem that is common in most people. If you don’t know, simply ask a friend and ask them for their honest opinion about the speed at which you speak.

The benefits of speaking slower are quite profound. Let’s say you are a fast talker and you slow down your speech by 20%. You now have 20% more time to think about what you are going to say next and where you want the conversation to lead. This is especially useful during a date when you feel that you are running out of things to say and feel the need to keep finding new things to talk about. She will understand what you’re saying more clearly, be more interested in what you have to say, and perceive you as being more intelligent! Professional speaking is like music. There are high points, low points and musically sound pauses. The mouth of a professional speaker is like an instrument in a musician’s hand. Your voice and message is like a good piece of music that can affect the emotion of your audience.

Exercise: Search the Internet or buy a book with monologues. Practice reading them and recording yourself as you deliver it. Deliver it as if you were telling someone the story and listen to how you sound and the rate at which you speak. You will probably find it uncomfortable listening to yourself, but with practice, you will get used to it. Every now and then when you are speaking with friends or highly engaged in a conversation, take a moment to be conscious of your delivery. If you catch yourself speaking too quickly, then ease back to a slower rate of delivery. Over time you will subconsciously adapt to the slower rate of delivery. By listening and analyzing your speech, you will also grow more comfortable with your voice and speak with more power and confidence.

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